By now many of you might be thinking that I am nothing close to a love guru, but rather a cynical woman venting my frustrations of love. If in fact this is what you believe than I must congratulate you, for you are correct. But my frustrations do not stem from bad break ups, heart aches, and me falling head over-heals for a man who never noticed, rather I am frustrated with the idea of love which was engrained in me as a young girl.
If you were to ask me when I was 16 what my future would hold, I would have responded with graduating from high school, attending some type of higher education, meeting the man of my dreams and marrying at 21 with my first child expected at the age of 23.
Well I am 23, no husband, no child, and not at all what I predicted. Many women in my position find themselves waiting, searching for the man who is going to arrive in their life with a bang while sporting a banner that says ‘the one’ and we are suppose to follow suite and hop on to the popular You Complete Me Train. I do believe that we all have certain people who bring out the best in us, the ones where the chemistry is undeniable, and you can’t help feeling fantastic, but why is it once we find this person we are suppose to feel ‘complete’ as if we were incomplete before?
It seems there are too many people walking around feeling less than because they have yet to find a keeper. It is highly probable that I am delusional and think that I could go through life on my own and be very much happy, but I refuse to think that I need someone to make me who I am as a person.
Shouldn’t we love ourselves, accept ourselves, embrace who and what we are before we are bound to another? If I go around looking for someone to fill the empty space within me, wouldn’t that become a burden for my partner?
I think relationships are a lot like the perfect outfit, sure you can have a knockout dress but without the right shoes the look doesn’t shine. Our boyfriends and girlfriends should be accessories to who we are, complements, the finishing touch rather than a missing piece of the puzzle. You can take this theory with a grain of salt, but searching for a perfect pair of Jimmy Choos sounds much more appealing than looking for my missing collar bone, or right leg.
I feel complete knowing that I have grown into my own skin, allowed myself to change as a being, and I can strut around town wearing a three year old pair of five dollar flip-flops from Target and feel like a million bucks, but when I slip on those strappy foam green Minolos with the pink pear accent I feel out of this world. So how bout we drop the Jerry McGuire dramatics and stop looking for the love that makes two halves a whole. Be fabulous, be you, and the rest will fall into place.
-Trudy Weigel
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