This weeks topic of discussion is the one-night stare phenomena. Because I am more partial to the female species being that I am one, I will verbally demonstrate the happenings of a one-night stare. The night is designated as ladies night, we gather all our most eligible and fabulous girlfriends for a night out on the town. After hours of bathing, lathering, foofing, and eyelining we make our way to the most crowded bars.
This is where the games begin. Once we arrive we immediately assess our surroundings, taking note of the couples, who’s with who, and most importantly the group of single guys who just ordered a round of drinks from the bar. We find an area with open seating and begin to indulge in our own cocktails. We laugh, we talk, and after accomplishing what might possibly be the worst karaoke interpretation of Shania Twains ‘Man I feel like a woman’ you spot him, the tall scruffy blonde making eye contact with you from across the room.
First you play coy, look away, and try your damndest to look cute while cracking jokes with the girls regarding your inability to control your vocal cords when under the influence. A few minutes pass you reapply that glossy pout of yours, look in his direction and once again your eyes lock. You are flattered, curious, and very much interested in this mysterious mountain man who can’t seem to get enough.
But soon bar time approaches and those stares that have continued throughout the night have been nothing more than that, Stares. The crowd slowly exits the bustling bar like cattle, as the bouncers and bartenders harass you as if you just stepped foot into ‘the buckle’. The next thing you know your fabulous self grabs your handbag and gathers the girls to hail the next available taxi, leaving without a name or number from mister sassy pants who made no effort to introduce himself. Now to be completely honest we women are very much capable of approaching a man, but in truth we wished to be wooed so we defiantly wait to no avail.
Now boys, take out your paper and pen because I have a few notes for you. If a woman spends the entire night making eye contact with you, and doesn’t have an obvious look of disgust upon her face that is your cue to go and approach her. After a few moments of casual conversation and you find yourself interested in the woman, then you ask for her number and follow up with an invitation to meet again. Now, when I say an ‘invitation’ that excludes “We should hang out sometime” or “ Call me this weekend if you plan on going out’. A woman doesn’t go to the bar to meet quality guy friends who want to chill and talk about the latest version of Halo, a woman wants you to take her to dinner, a movie, go for a cup of coffee, and if money is an issue there are no excuses we live next to one of the largest lakes in the world and therefore a night on the boardwalk can be much more appealing than a five course meal.
-Trudy Weigel
No comments:
Post a Comment